Monday 16 May 2011

US and Pakistan Involved in Secret “Game of Riddles”






From our astrology, zoology and pedagogy correspondent, Mystic Gran


US and Pakistani officials were forced to confirm the existence of a secret agreement allowing US forces to take out al Qa'ida leader Osama bin Laden if his hiding place in Pakistan was ever located.

Both nations have described their clandestine pact as a cross between Where's Wally and the Riddle Game.

Pakistani Prime Minister, Yosuf Raza Gilani, declared that after 10 years of playing this “exciting” game the US had finally succeeded in locating bin Laden. “Let no one draw any wrong conclusions. We hid bin Laden in a top secret location and even set him up in a nifty pad with Sky+ so that he wouldn't feel the need to make so many Jihad videos with the name of the street in the background. Every year we would give the Americans another riddle that, once solved, would bring them closer to finding him. I am pleased to say that Mr Obama himself finally cracked the last one! Now it's our turn!”

The White House released a statement acknowledging Mr Gilani's comments and thanked Pakistan for their good sportsmanship in allowing George W Bush to be replaced by Obama in 2008, when the former failed to solve even the first riddle. The statement also made special mention of the role played by Britain in solving the riddles, specifically thanking them for the tea and sandwiches provided at the 5-year interval.

However, some have voiced their disapproval of this type of counter-terrorism tactic. US Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton and German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, both of whom were not involved, said in a joint statement, “It's not fair. Girls can play too!”