Street Fundraisers at Risk From State Harassment

From our astrology, zoology and pedagogy correspondent, Mystic Gran

A new charity was set up today to protect the rights of face-to-face street fundraisers or "chuggers" as they are known, who face harassment from state authorities.

The National Society for the Protection of Street Fundraisers, or NSPSF, will attempt to raise funds from the public to lobby central Government for greater protection from "over-zealous" councils. The move follows a decision by Manchester City Council to set up a designated zone in the city centre where street fundraisers will be permitted to accost members of the public who mistakenly enter, on set days of the week. Manchester City Council claims that the decision was made after numerous complaints were lodged by local office workers and one street fundraiser was found beaten outside Barclays Bank on Maybury Street. The street fundraiser, who has not been named by police, is recovering in Manchester City Hospital, despite some staff refusing to treat him and all attempts to remove the clipboard from his Chatham pocket being so far, unsuccessful.

NSPSF spokeswoman, Ruth Albridge, today said, "What is being done to this vulnerable group of people is a disgrace, an absolute disgrace. I do not want to offend anyone but this scenario bares all the hallmarks of what we did to the Aborigines in Australia. We are telling them where they can and can't go and moving them away from their natural environment. It is effectively ethnic cleansing."

When asked how the NSPSF felt the public would react to the campaign, Ms Albridge stated, "We believe the public will be up in arms about what is being done. We cannot simply stand by and let this type of crime happen. Even those members of the public already struggling in this recession want to set up direct debits to charities, if only they were suitably educated on how to do so. We have already received lots of support from Manchester locals who say things like "It's about bl**dy time" and "Those harassing ba****ds need to be taught a lesson", so we're fairly confident that the public is on our side."

Charities that employ swathes of street fundraisers have come in for some criticism in recent times for offering large incentives to those that meet regular targets for signed-up direct debits. The charities argue that at least half of the total amount raised directly from this type of fundraising goes to those good causes. The CEO of one such charity, who did not wish to be named, stated, "The power of guilt is an incredibly strong thing. Ideally, we'd like the public to know all about our cause and give up their time or expertise but we'll settle for six pounds a month. If we didn't offer these incentives, the chuggers would just stand about doing nothing. Where's the money going then?"

Zara Penry-Goldsmith, a student at Manchester University and occasional chugger, told this blog "It's not like we're hurting anyone, like...in fact, we're like helping to save lives... I'm like saving lives yah... I'm like a doctor... saving lives. Now, like, the stupid Council says I have to move from outside Topshop, which is totally unfair. I practically live there."