Following the controversial post-match media blackout by Manchester United after their 3-1 defeat at Anfield, the club has been ordered to conduct all post-match interviews in mime from now until the end of the season.
Sources indicate that Premier League bigwigs have become increasingly tired of Sir Alex Ferguson's childish antics and see this decision as “putting him on the naughty step”. The Premier League have previously had to contend with criticism for not sanctioning Ferguson for his continued refusal to speak to the BBC.
“While we accept that Manchester United may not wish to make official comments so soon after a game, the fact is that they are part of the Premier League and thus benefit directly from the lucrative contracts signed between the Premier League and various broadcasting groups. As a compromise, the club, manager and players do not need to say anything to the media but must conduct any future interview in mime, make up and all, until the end of the season. Let's see what their position is next year”.
The Premier League also included a caveat that should the club fail to abide by this sanction, their share of broadcasting funds and any prize money would be donated to a charity for retired clowns.
The owner of the debt-ridden club, Malcolm Glazer, has since confirmed that the club will abide fully with the League's decision and has instructed a troupe of artists to coach Ferguson and his team in the subtle arts of mime.
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